I'm Sorry... | A Follow up On King of My Heart

After posting last week's blog, "King of my heart" I seemed to struggle because I thought that I might have talked in a way that sounds like great Christianese (you know our own Christian language where sometimes we say things that sound so easy but are actually really hard! You know like you're going through a very serious case and someone says "Just Trust the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding" and what you would like to do is punch them in the face and say something like "ya buddy! Why don't you try going through what I'm going through!" I mean maybe you don't think like that but I sometimes do! #dontjudgeme)

The truth is allowing God to be the king of our heart is really REALLY hard! It can be scary especially if we have some misconceptions of God in our heart. For instance- what if we had an earthly father who left at a crucial time in our life. Or what if we told someone our darkest dirtiest secret and they turned on us and hurt us.

So we take those experiences and expect God to leave us when He sees what's really in our hearts.

What if God wants to work on an area of our heart that really hurts and He asks us to do something that seems impossible like forgive the person that caused the pain (even if that someone is ourselves)?

What if our hurt isn't because of someone per say but what if we prayed for something and it didn't happen? Like we prayed for someone to get healed and instead we ended up having to say "see you later".

What if we cried out to God and in return, we felt silence?

Life circumstances can make it hard to fully allow God to be king of our heart. I get that. I can relate.

I have to remind myself who God is outside of my circumstances. See God's goodness is not based on how I perceive him to be good, God is good no matter my circumstances. Unfortunately, we live in a fallen world which allows for bad things to happen but those things do not change the goodness of our God.

The truth is allowing God to be "King of My Heart" is a journey. Some days it's easy and other days it's really hard.

Allowing God to have full reign will require vulnerability. It will require trust. It will require honesty- with yourself, your safe friends but most importantly with God.

So I want to say to you, I'm sorry! I'm sorry if you have had something happen to you that has caused you to walk on eggshells in the presence of God. I'm sorry if I made it sound as though what you are facing isn't hard or a big deal and it's easy to allow God to be King of your heart. I know it's not easy and although I don't know what exactly is holding you up, I know what tries to hold me up so I can relate. I want to ask you, though; will you join me in the journey of allowing him to reign in our hearts?

The truth is God is for you. He is never going to let you go. His love will never let go of you no matter what. You are His child and He is proud to call you His! He isn't ashamed of you! He will never leave you or forsake you! He wants to pull you close and hold you. He wants to heal your heart. Bring you peace, joy, love, hope, patience or whatever it is that you need. Our God is big enough to meet you right where you are.

So friend, with all christianese aside, just honest conversation, knowing that He is for us and we can trust Him with our hearts no matter the condition, I have a question to ask you...

Would you be brave, take the leap of faith and start the journey of allowing Him to be King of your heart?

Kate (19 months) & Adde (3 years old) at the Texas State Fair! 

Kate (19 months) & Adde (3 years old) at the Texas State Fair! 

                                                                 

 

Stay Sane To Do List

Having 3 kids in 3 years is A LOT! But I love it! Like for real love it! Every day has its challenges and moments that seem to overwhelm me, but I have learned to laugh instead of cry, to define my new normal and know it's going to be okay! We have a motto in our home that we allow grace to rule. It seems to help in the chaos of our mini circus!

So, I compiled my keep sane to do list. I try to do these things every day to help myself stay sane and on top of things! I have found this helps me to not feel like I am being held under water.

Now you must know, these things don't happen every day- it's more like my goal to do list and when I do accomplish them, I'm doing good- like real good! I tell you that so you don't take this list and set it as a standard, my hope would be you take the list maybe for some ideas, encouragement or just to give you some "oh she does it too so it's okay" type of feelings. Or maybe, "This is her goal to do list? Man, I'm doing great then!" haha! I don't mind how you look at this list as long as you don't use it as a tool (or allow the enemy) to beat yourself up! Deal?!

Okay so here is my keep sane Daily To Do List:

  1. Get ready! I take 5 or so minutes every morning to get dressed, brush my teeth, maybe put on a little makeup (lotion, BB cream, and mascara). Sometimes getting dressed means changing into a fresh pair of workout pants, even though I have no intention of working out that day! I found it helps me feel better throughout the day and seemed to help me be more productive! Just so you know- usually my kids are playing in my bathroom/closet or watching tv while I do this! So it's not like this nice peaceful moment of my morning!  

  2. I read the Bible. Now by reading the Bible, it could be the verse of the day on my Bible app, or it could be pulling out my Bible and reading a few verses just depends on my day. To me, it's not about how much I can read as much as it is about filling myself up. If I'm in a season, I sometimes will search a word and read verses on something specific. For instance- grace and patience seem to be great needs for me these days so I might look up scriptures on my phone and read those! If you think you don't have time for this, I would like to challenge you to open your Bible app instead of a social media app and I think you would be surprised by how much you can read... When I was pregnant with Kate, I read the entire Bible in less than 3 months because instead of opening up a social media app I opened the word of God. I was shocked and it helped me realize, I always have enough time to read His word. I can't live without it!

  3. I do a load of laundry. Once again these things don't happen every day like I would like for them to. For instance last week we had a lazy day and laundry didn't get done and I was totally okay with that. Then there are days where I am laying in bed and realize I started laundry that morning and haven't touched it since! Time to re-wash that load! Maybe tomorrow will be better. #goals

  4. I load & start the dishwasher. Every night I try to start my dishwasher so I can start fresh the next day. With that, I try and do all the things that need to be hand washed as well, so the next morning my sink is empty and all dishes are clean!

  5. Straighten the Living Room. We have an open living room/ kitchen layout and it's the first thing you see when you walk into our house. So every night I try and just straighten the living room so once again the next morning I wake up to a fresh start. In our home- we try and keep most of the toys upstairs in our playroom so usually, it only takes me a couple of minutes to straighten! For some odd reason, children love to play in clean spaces and leave them messy! I have learned that when we take the time to straighten our home- mainly the kitchen and living room we have a better day the next day!

Now I do need to place a few disclaimers. Like I said this does not happen every day. But I also have help! My awesome husband will help me at night (the nights he doesn't work late) straighten our house.  We have a nanny a couple hours a week who is fabulous about helping me around the house when I get behind and help me to maintain it if I'm staying on top of it all. But in the last 8 weeks, I think I can count on 1 hand how many times she has come over and my house has been clean! So there's that!

So there you have it! My daily stay sane to do list! What are some things you try and do every day to help you stay on top of things and stay sane? Would love to hear them!

Robbed.

It was late Friday night, Ethan was at the Gateway Young Adults Retreat and I was laying in bed thinking of how jealous I was. Jealous of Ethan for being able to go on a retreat. Jealous that he got to sleep 2 glorious nights in a room all by himself with no worries about children. (All mothers understand why I was jealous about this) Jealous of all the adult conversation, worship and God moments he would get to have on this retreat. Jealous of my girlfriends- some who were on the retreat as well, some who were able to do a girls night out and some because my perception of their life via social media was well perfect (I have since learned/ been reminded that they too have messy NORMAL lives) So as I laid in my bed, thinking of all I was missing out on and allowing my jealousy to take over my mind. I didn't even realize I was being robbed. To be honest, it wasn't until Saturday afternoon on my way to church (which was a miracle that I made it to church with all 3 kids all by myself!) that I realized I had been robbed. I was devastated! Would I ever get back what was stolen? And so sweetly the Lord whispered in my heart, "Yes honey you will!"  

The truth is nothing of material worth was stolen. No, it wasn't anything physical. The truth is jealousy robbed me. Jealousy robbed me of seeing the blessings right in front of me.

Since I was a little girl my greatest desire has been to be a mommy! And here I was living my dream with my answered prayers all around me. Yet I was seeing those answered prayers as burdens, as inconveniences. When I realized what had happened on Saturday, I was devastated because the things I had prayed for and desired for so long- a loving, hard working husband, a beautiful home, lots of children all close in age were right there and I had lost sight of them as my answered prayers, my blessings! 

I have talked about being intentional and I believe that we should be intentional. Intentional with our time, our money... but also with our minds and our emotions! In today's culture, with all our social media outlets, I feel it is easy for us to allow jealousy into our hearts. But do we realize that jealousy is not a friend? Jealousy doesn't come into our home to help us clean or cook. It doesn't bring flowers and cookies and come just to talk and give you a breath of fresh air. No, Jealousy comes in with every intention to steal all your valuables- and I don't mean your material valuable items, I mean your answered prayers, your greatest desires, your blessings.

So friends, have you been robbed? Have you allowed jealousy to come into your heart and turn your blessings into burdens?

Just like the Lord so gently reminded me on Saturday, we can get back what has been robbed from us. But in order to do that, we have to kick jealousy out of our hearts and our minds and invite gratitude back in. You see gratitude can not stay in the same place as jealousy. And just to let you know, God won't grant us the other desires of our hearts when we are busy lusting over others answered prayers. 

In some ways, jealousy is lusting... I know we might not always think of it in that light. But when we are jealous, we are lusting over what someone else has and we want.

Nature is content with little, grace with less, but lust with nothing.

If jealousy is in your heart, you will never be content. And God works when we are content.

So, take a moment today and examine your heart... Has jealousy taken residency in your heart turning your answered prayers, your blessings into burdens? Take a moment and kick it out and then invite gratitude back in. Begin to thank God for how He has provided for you and has answered your prayers! Look around at all your blessings and thank God.

Let's not allow our worlds to be robbed by jealousy. Let's enjoy our blessings, our answered prayers. And let's remember to have a heart of gratitude and thank God for all He has given us. And let's thank Him often. It will help keep jealousy away. 

Pregnant Life | Round 3

Hey Friends! 

I wanted to write a quick blog updating you on my pregnancy and life as a whole! 

We are in a busy season with traveling and getting ready for baby boy to join us this summer!! 

Ethan and I recently returned from Massachusetts, where I was honored to share at CAPTIVATE Women's Conference at Lifesong Church in Sutton, MA. We absolutely fell in love with the pastors David and Ginelle Payne and the entire team! I will share more about our trip very soon! 

We are now gearing up and preparing for Pink Impact here in Fort Worth, TX later this week! BTW... It's not too late to get a ticket! Seriously, please consider joining us! I promise you won't regret it! For more information go to www.pinkimpact.com  

Alright now to pregnancy! Being my 3rd pregnancy, I feel like I can honestly say every pregnancy is different! With both my girls I was sick all day every day for the first 14 weeks. This pregnancy I really never got sick except for the one time I had the stomach flu which was miserable! Pregnancy has been good to me. The main thing is I am tired but that could be due to chasing and playing with a 2 and 1 year old all day! I appreciate nap time every single day and the days we miss... well let's just say I'm not as happy! Lol! 

A few weeks ago at our doctor’s appointment we learned that my body has started some signs of pre-term labor. So I am on a relaxed form of bed rest. Which means I had to cancel almost all of my travel and speaking engagements till little man arrives. I was so bummed as I was looking forward to each and every one of them but I know I need to do what is best for my family and this little guy. Both my girls came early so our doctor believes I will have this one early as well but just not too early! Prayerfully! 

For those of you who are coming to Pink Impact... This is one reason I am on the #comfyshoesmovement 😉and a hundred other reasons! Check out my Instagram (@elainecfisher) to learn more and join the movement!

Everyone wants to know if we have a name yet. If you don't know, we named both our girls after they were born. With Adde we had 2 options that we liked but decided after she was born, once we saw her! With Kate we really only had that one option but I'm weird about agreeing to a name until I see them. So with this little guy we have thrown out several names but we are still not truly set on any name! I would like to have a better idea of his name before he comes but I know like always the perfect name will come for him! So we are just waiting! So I promise I'm not holding out on you! Haha! 

Bottom line- pregnancy is pretty great and we are just taking each day at a time! After Pink Impact, I will be able to really start focusing on getting his room all ready and preparing for him! It's funny how each pregnancy I seem to get more and more relaxed on what we need and getting everything ready by a "certain time." Some how I have come to learn how to take care for a baby without all the random things stores tell you are a must. Maybe one day I will write a blog about my favorites and must haves! 

All that to say- all is well here! Just taking it easy and believing little dude will come in God's perfect timing! 

Hope to see you at Pink impact! 

Xoxo

Elaine

The Hardest Part of My Job...

The hardest part of being a stay at home mom for me is well the silence. Now you might be wondering what I am talking about… Yes, I do have two children 2 and under and yes they both love to talk so when I speak of silence I don’t really mean the lack of them making noise. No, I don’t mean that at all. See what I mean about silence is the silence within myself- the silence in my mind, the lack of vocabulary used on a day to day. Ultimately I mean the silence between me and other adults.

On average, I speak to 1 adult a day and most of my conversations with that adult, who happens to be my husband, is through text. So most days I load the girls up and we go get fast food because at least then I can see and talk to another adult throughout my day.

So what if all I they say to me is “Hi! Welcome to Chick-fil-a, What can I get you?” and I reply the exact same way every day, “Yes, I would like a number 1 with American cheese and a large sweet tea light ice and a kids 4 count chicken nuggets with fruit and a lemonade no ice” They graciously repeat my order back to me which is great because I get a sense of being heard. Then they ask me a vital question “Can I get you any condiments” in which with no hesitation I let them know I would like 4 Polynesian sauce and 2 ketchup. They then say something quite rude but I accept graciously when they tell me it will cost me $10.65 for our conversation…

Some days I want to tell them don’t you know I am only coming here to talk to an adult and hear something besides the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse Theme Song and for someone to call me “ma’am” verses “momma”? (Sometimes they are even so sweet to ask for my name!) But I know they wont understand because I am sure they are thinking of the homework they need to do later or the kids they dropped off at daycare or what the latest trending hashtag is on twitter. So then we drive home and the whole way home I listen to a sweet 2 year old ask me for a “Fry” and “lemonade”…

But you see that little drive adds up each day and my well meaning husbands asks me if I could just eat lunch at home… See he doesn’t understand that I don’t go there for the food… I go there to have an encounter with another adult. I am sure you are catching on by now that I my personality is not one with few words.

The other night my husband walked in the door after working late that and I had been talking to my mother in the kitchen and about 15 minutes after his arrival my mom looked at him and said “Elaine hasn’t had much adult conversation today!” I realized I had not stopped talking since they both walked in the door.

So I am sure you can tell by now that the hardest part about being a stay at home mom for me is not the dirty diapers, or the dishes (because I don’t have any because we go to Chick-fil-a), or any of the other things that good stay at home moms do… For me the hardest part about being a stay at home mom is the silence. So today in hopes to give my mouth an opportunity to speak I wrote this blog to you, another adult. Thanks for sharing with me in this conversation well dialogue! Have a great day! 

P.S. All you stay at home mommas- just know I see you at Chick-fil-a! No judgment here!

Oh just so you know today when I went to Chick-fil-a, I got all the way up to the window and realized that I had left my wallet at home and the sweet girl gave me my meal for free… See sometimes its worth it be a usual! lol Even though I think she just gave it to me because that is how great Chick-fil-a is, I am still super great and will go there again tomorrow! haha! 

Much love!

"Ya But…"

I have always struggled with the idea of writing... I have this insecurity that I'm not a good writer, a fear that someone would read my article and my grammar would be terrible. So because of my fear and insecurity I chose not to write unless someone was going to edit it before it was published which meant I didn't blog. I have always wanted to blog and I have awesome ideas cross my mind for a great blog then the thought pops in my head "Ya but your not a good writer.." So I wouldn't write it or I would but I would save it for myself.

Recently I realized that I was holding myself back because I had allowed that insecurity to run my life. I began to realize that each time I thought "Ya but..." it usually was a teardown thought and most likely from the enemy who was trying to convince me not to do it. I finally realized that if I don't start then I can’t get better which means I will be stuck in the same place I have always been. I can't progress forward unless I take a step, even if it is just a baby step.

So today I decided that I was going to just start... I am not going to allow insecurities and fears to run my life. I'm going to write and work on my writing skills so that one day I will look back hopefully as a better writer and say I'm so glad I started writing... Today I choose that every time I hear or think "Ya but... (Insert belittling negative comment)" I'm going to exchange that thought for "Ya but my God can use me! I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!"

So here's to me starting to write not for any other reason besides that I feel like God asked me to and I am choosing to not let my fears and insecurities control my life.

I pray that you will join me in exchanging your negative "Ya but..." for a God inspired encouraging "Ya but..." and allow God to use you... I pray that you will take a stand against your fears and insecurities and not allow them to control your life. You can do it... Step out and Just Start...

Is there any area in your life that fear and insecurity has held you back? Would you join me in not letting fear and insecurity run your life and step out and just start?

I would love to hear your story about you stepping out! Leave a comment or email me with your thoughts! Look forward to hearing them!

Cheering you on friend!

Raise The Bar

Recently, my seven-year-old nephew informed our whole family that babies have more bones than adults. We all questioned him and had our doubts, to which he proudly replied, “Google it. But I know I am right!” So, of course, we Googled it and found out he was right.  

This is a great example of how the Internet can be a good and useful tool. (Although, we all wished we’d been right!) And while it offers a plethora of useful information, there are some downfalls we need to watch out for when it comes to the Internet, social media in particular.

Beware of Falsehoods

Just because it’s on the Internet and/or social media doesn’t mean it’s true. We’ve all heard that at one point or another, but are we really taking it to heart? Recently, I was scrolling through my Facebook feed and saw the title of a catchy article. Before I knew it, I was sucked into an emotional story about a little boy only to find out at the end it wasn’t even true. I was frustrated when I realized I had just wasted 30 minutes of my time and emotions on a lie! It’s so easy to allow what we read to become truth and forget that what we’re reading might be promoting a falsehood or feeding the egos of eccentric liars. Sometimes, falsehoods are also about our perceptions. If we assume we know the backstory behind it, we’ll misinterpret every photo, comment, or post we read. Just because we perceive something to be the way it is doesn’t mean it is that way. 

Beware of Envy and Comparison

Our perception can also lead us to fall into the comparison trap. Often, we compare our blooper reel to someone else’s highlight reel. On Instagram, we might see a friend’s post of her date night with her husband … their third one that week! Then, we glance over to see our messy house and our husband sitting on the couch watching ESPN and struggle to remember the last time just the two of us went out for a date. Immediately, the enemy swoops in, taunting us with envy. We begin to lust for our perception of our friend’s marriage and belittle our own. The more we look to social media to see where we should be in life, the more we will end up defeated and, ultimately, left sitting in the slump of comparison, resenting the very blessings we prayed for. When we allow social media to be our standard, our eyes shift off the miracles in front of us, and we focus on what we don’t have and think we need.  

Beware of Gossip

Gossip has found a new mask to wear when it comes to modern technology. It often disguises itself as a blog, tweet, or Facebook post. It spreads quickly through shares, retweets, and likes. Yet, biblical principles still apply in modern technology. Our goal in every comment and post should be to reflect the fruits of the Spirit. There is power in our words, even on the Internet and through social media. We have been given a platform that generations before us did not have, but it needs to be stewarded responsibly.  

More than likely, you are one of the three billion Internet users in the world today; this leaves you as prey to some pitfalls of modern technology. We have an opportunity to be a light in a way that generations before us didn’t have. So, I challenge you to be aware of the pitfalls, stand for what is right, and use your influence for good. It’s time to raise the bar!